CLEARING THE COBWEBS

Paula T. Webb, PhD

Ever have one of “those” days or weeks?

I recently had a week full of “those” kind of days, and found myself, almost two weeks later, still frustrated and fuming about some incidents and the people associated with them. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about when someone you know, or care about, or maybe even work with is less than stellar in their dealings with you. Maybe someone acts angry toward you for no apparent reason, someone else you know might call you nasty names or accuse you erroneously of doing something wrong, or maybe someone at work “gets” your promotion. Or maybe, just maybe, someone, possibly even a total stranger just plain hurts your feelings.

have a friend I have known for 15 years. We don’t see each other often because she lives on the other side of the country from me and has a very busy life. But, from time to time, maybe two or three times a year, one of us ends up in each other’s city and we get together, although we do keep in touch over the telephone.

Now the particulars of what was actually said between my friend and I are not pertinent to this article. What is important is the fact that she got ticked off at me because I couldn’t go to an event with her (I had a scheduling conflict on that day) and felt that I insulted her. In my ensuing telephone calls to her she was cold and rude.

In the days following the last call between us, I began a “slow burn” as my mother used to say, about the situation. I began thinking, what the heck was her problem, how dare she act that way toward me, and so forth. And I found myself snapping at others at the grocery store checker, at the guy driving the “gas-guzzling” Escalade in front of me, at clients who called with questions I was too irritated to answer, and of course, at my husband. After a couple days, I was exhausted!

Then I had a revelation. I began to see that I had succumbed to, as Joe Carroccio writes about in his book and seminars entitled “The Law of Distraction” just that, the Law of Distraction, meaning, I had become distracted! I was allowing myself to be distracted from performing even the most mundane daily tasks, not to mention my professional work, without an attitude, why?

Because someone else had an attitude toward me, treated me unfairly but most important in my mind, hurt my feelings unnecessarily. Sound familiar to you possibly?

So, here I was, caught up in my distraction and stuck in the cobwebs of frustration and hurt feelings. And what is the definition of a cobweb “…to snare, net, lasso…” Now, you might say, a spider web is so thin and fragile, but in actuality all spider webs are very strong, as scientists have proven, even though they may be as thin as gossamer. Just as attitudes and reactions to attitudes are thin as gossamer, but very strong, and most definitely are capable of snaring the best of us. Why? Because, even though in that moment we may not see it if we stop and think about it, all of us have acted and reacted in the same negative manner, at times in our own lives.

“I believe in the absolute oneness of God and therefore of humanity. What though we have many bodies and faces and countries? We have but one soul… I know God is neither in heaven nor down below but rather in everyone.” Mohandas K. Gandhi

How do we go about clearing out our cobwebs? Especially as traders? It’s very simple.

Just knowing that we are, or have become, distracted, is most of it. Once you see that you have stepped out of your comfort zone, your niche, your standard thinking pattern you will know you are distracted and can then begin to shift your attention back to where you want to go. Do you want to act negatively toward another? I think not. Do you want to see consistent opportunity in the markets? Of course, all of us traders do. So, if we understand that these distracting situations come up to remind each of us of our own human frailty, then there will be no need for anger, or displeasure or hurt feelings. Just another reminder that God is there, sending his messages, and messengers, to remind us where to focus.

No one can give a definition of the soul. But we know what it feels like. The soul is the sense of something higher than ourselves, something that stirs in us thoughts, hopes and aspirations which go out to the world of goodness, truth, and beauty. The soul is a burning desire to breathe in this world of light and never to lose it to remain children of light.”
Albert Schweitzer